My BDay His Way...

Hello Hiatus Readers!

I am back... it is two days after my crossover to 26, and I don't quite know how I feel. My party... well... we made the best out of what we had to work with. I will dedicate a post solely to that later. Back to me...

January 27th! My birthday! For 25 years everyone close to me has been making a "big deal" over my birthday. That day is always wonderful and it is all about me! At least I thought it was. You know when you are in a relationship with someone you like for "them" to make you feel special. Not everyone else.

Ok. I am rambling... let me get to the point.

Though his intentions were good King planned "my" bday around what "he" enjoyed doing. Don't get me wrong, it was really nice. We went to a nice bead store and he created a necklace for me (made with love). We then went to eat. Went back to his house. Went to a Jazz Club. It was a nice evening... however it didn't celebrate me on my day. I spend so much time worrying with life and not taking time for myself. This was the one day that I wanted everything to be about me. We did all the things he likes to do. It had very little to do with me. I was then "chastised" in way about how everyone (my close friends and family) makes a big deal about me... he compared it to a Puffy video with all the dancers, confetti, and trumpets. Lol... there is a tad bit of truth etched in there... if I am being honest with myself. He spent the night on and off of his Blackberry taking business calls. The night wasn't about me at all. I was being "fitted" into a schedule.

We took separate cars and I remember driving back to his house crying hysterically. Best believe I am not a cryer, but my feelings were really hurt. I just wanted his time and attention on MY day and I didn't get it. We have had conversation after conversation about it but I had to share the story with the world.

King is extremely private and won't want this published but this is bigger than him. This is about me and how I need to work through some issues that I am struggling with. So... was there a lesson learned from Rai's 26th birthday?

Sure was.

God has blessed me with a beautiful son, family/friends and a man who LOVES me his way. I love King for him and I would never attempt to turn him in to someone he isn't. He loves the way he loves. I love the way I love. He shared that time with me the way he does when he cares about someone. The fact that he is there when I need him is all that matters.

I am getting older and have more things to focus on.

Lets see...
What's next?


The End.

~26startedprettyrockyletsseewhereitendsup~

A Letter to Twenty Five

Dear Twenty Five,

We had such a great year together. I learned so much from you. I had a chance to experience things that I thought I never would. I went places I had no idea existed. I met people whom I will never forget. For once my eyes were open to the "impossible dream". Lets just say, it's not impossible anymore. I let some people go that I thought I never would. Things happen for a reason. I have no regrets.

I learned some things about those around me that I never knew. People can be very underhanded and conniving. But... like Granny use to tell me, "It's not important what happens to you, but you reaction to what happens to you". Twenty five, you taught me how to react. For that I thank you. You also taught me that you can't let people determine your attitude, because attitude determines aptitude... and I am going as high as God has willed for me.

Well... our journey will end at 12am tonight (early morning). I will then be introduced to Twenty Six, I know you have prepared me for all he encompasses and for that I thank you. I will never forget you as long as I live. In comparison to all the years of my life, you are the one that will forever be etched in my heart.

Thank you, Twenty Five. You taught me how to live ... how to love... and how to laugh. You will be truly missed.

Yours Eternally,
Rai


The End.

~GoodBye25GoodLuck26!~

Ahh... 25 was Muy Bueno!

Ok... 3 days to go until I turn 21 for the 5th time. Actually... I have no issues with my age. I am a fine almost 26 year old who has quite a few things going for herself. I must say... 25 was a PHENOMENAL year! I had a quite a few discoveries that were truly priceless.

I started 25 with a "Victoria's Secret" style lingerie party. It was truly wonderful. Everyone came and dressed accordingly. I looked at the tape of it a couple of weeks ago and I didn't even recognize the bombshell with the baby pink laced chemise and accompanying thong and strapless bra. I would be 95% less likely to behave or even dress that way this year.

I have an intimate ordeal planned with close friends. We are going to a nice lounge to have drinks and hear music on Friday... and Saturday (after I train at HAWC) it is all about da Kang and me!

I had a lot of issues coming into 25... but they have sorted themselves out. I truly have a better understanding of myself and what I have to offer to the world. It is truly amazing to look back at your growth and be proud of who you have become.

Achievements at 25:
*Regained my relationship with my Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ
*Started WHEW (officially)
*Entered a wonderful relationship (still going strong!)
*Began working to empower the battered women at Houston Area Women's Center.
*Began to come into my own style and way of thinking
*Brought the focus back to me and stopped worrying about people's opinions
*Developed really strong bonds with 6 wonderful women (WHEW)
*Began writing my poetry

and last but not least...

Began Da Hiatus.

This blog is the best thing that could have ever happened to me. For once I am able to journal my feelings... and I get feedback from others. I know a lot of you my not agree with my views... especially those of you who know me and read this (thinking that I have no idea) assuming that I am speaking against you... trust... I am not.

Da Hiatus is about my perception of the events going on around me. It is as simple as that!

Well... as I glide into 26... I will never ever forget 25!

The End.

~Turning25keptmeAlive!~

Christianity at it's Finest!

I am not one to share forwards (normally) but I ran across a lovely one today. It came from a dear friend of mine... Blessed. She is a sweetheart who always know what to say or do to make one feel good.

It was a poem by Mya Angelou (my favorite writer):

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not shouting "I'm clean livin'."
I'm whispering "I was lost,
Now I 'm found and forgiven."

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I don't speak of this with pride.
I'm confessing that I stumble
and need Christ to be my guide.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not trying to be strong.
I'm professing that I'm weak
And need His strength to carry on.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not bragging of success.
I'm admitting I have failed
And need God to clean my mess.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not claiming to be perfect,
My flaws are far too visible
But, God believes I am worth it.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I still feel the sting of pain.
I have my share of heartaches
So I call upon His name.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not holier than thou,
I'm just a simple sinner
Who received God's good grace, somehow!

Whew! Was that powerful or what? As soon as one gives their life to Christ and accepts Jesus as their Lord and Saviour, the judgement begins. Christians are people as well. We will never be perfect. That is why God gave His Son, for us. Understand that we will fall down, it is just important that we get up!

The End.

~"CauseImaChristiandoesn'tmakemeperfect!~

Ahh Anonymous Audience..

In a really peculiar way it has been brought to my attention that I have a lot of anonymous readers out there. I know what you all are thinking...

This IS the World Wide Web! You have thousands of anonymous readers out there.

Duh.
I knew that.

I am talking about all those readers out there that actually know me and keep up with my blog to find out what I am "really" thinking. These people know me from all facets of life. They pass me every now and again and say "hi". I had no idea that these people even knew I had a blog... let alone read it. It puts a new twist on things. Obviously I am an open person, because I put my feelings on blast, but I didn't realize that some of the people I write about (though everything is anonymous) and my interactions with them are actually read... BY THEM!

Too cute.

I will continue to keep a certain anonymity on my blog, but know that these are just my personal feelings about... not YOU, but how our interaction affected my life. I am forever a positive person and I would never demean anyone... there is this thing called freedom of speech and I can view situations however I like. It is my right.

I love Da Hiatus, because it aids me in reflecting on life and the wonderful people I share it with. I want to thank my anonymous audience for keeping tabs on me. When you see me... instead of thinking about some things you read on my blog... ask me about it. I know who you are and believe it or not it is ok. I love each of you, because you have helped me merge into the woman I am today.

Thanks to all of my AA (Anonymous Audience).

May God Bless your lives. He sure has mine!

The End.

~Ahhtheartoftheanonymousaudience!~

Sun = OCD??? Hum.

Ok... I just had to post about Sun today. In case this is your first time checking out Da Hiatus, Sunshine in my almost 4 (in 3 weeks) year old son. He is quite the character. A very loving little boy. There is just this one thing...

He is a Perfectionist.

Sun gives a new meaning to "color in between the lines". If everything isn't done to his liking, he totally freaks out. I mean TOTALLY. If he gets a drop of water on his shirt... "Mommmy! Put it in the dryer!". I am seriously talking about lengthy tantrum(ish) fits. Everything has to be in a certain order. When he plays with his cars, he lines them up. He will ask me to play with him, but if I get the cars out of (his) order... OMG! He totally freaks. If anyone looks at him the wrong way, he starts crying and runs to me, "Mommy! They aren't suppose to look at me! I don't want them to."

Is something wrong with this picture?

So, one day at work, during a "fit" one of my staff members kid, "OMG! Total OCD". I thought to myself, "Maybe he could slightly have OCD". I have not talked to professionals and I probably won't until I am positive he has it, but it does seems as though he may have a taste of it.

What is OCD?

According to Wikipedia...

Obsessive compulsive disorder is is a psychiatric disorder; more specifically, it is an anxiety disorder. OCD is manifested in a variety of forms, but it is most commonly characterized by a subject's obsessive, distressing, intrusive thoughts and related compulsions (tasks or rituals) which attempt to neutralize the obsessions.

They say that perfectionism does not equal OCD. Perfectionism has to be accompanied by obsessions or compulsions alone, or obsessions and compulsions, according to the DSM-IV-TR diagnostic criteria.

Typical Obsessions and Compulsions:

Obsessions are defined by:

1. Recurrent and persistent thoughts, impulses, or images that are experienced at some time during the disturbance, as intrusive and inappropriate and that cause marked anxiety or distress.
2. The thoughts, impulses, or images are not simply excessive worries about real-life problems.
3. The person attempts to ignore or suppress such thoughts, impulses, or images, or to neutralize them with some other thought or action.
4. The person recognizes that the obsessional thoughts, impulses, or images are a product of his or her own mind, and are not based in reality.

Compulsions are defined by:

1. Repetitive behaviors or mental acts that the person feels driven to perform in response to an obsession, or according to rules that must be applied rigidly.
2. The behaviors or mental acts are aimed at preventing or reducing distress or preventing some dreaded event or situation; however, these behaviors or mental acts either are not connected in a realistic way with what they are designed to neutralize or prevent or are clearly excessive.
3. In addition to these criteria, at some point during the course of the disorder, the sufferer must realize that his/her obsessions or compulsions are unreasonable or excessive. Moreover, the obsessions or compulsions must be time consuming (taking up more than one hour per day), cause distress, or cause impairment in social, occupational, or school functioning (Quick Reference from DSM-IV-TR, 2000). OCD often causes feelings similar to that of depression.

(Thanks to www.wikipedia.com for the info listed above.)

So... that was the official definition of OCD. Not sure if Sun has it, or will develop it over time, but he is really too obsessive and compulsive to be 3 (almost 4) years old. We will let him live life and see what happens.

The End.


~Coulditbe?DoesSunhaveOCD?~

BBBBBBRRRRRRRR... It's Cold in Here!

Well, well, well... If you reside in certain parts of Texas (namely Dallas, Austin, San Antonio and Houston areas), you are indeed cold right now. It was 33 degrees out this morning (here in Houston) and raining to say the least. We both know what the two add up to. Sleet. Ice.

If you are reading this and you reside in the Northeast, so what? We know that you all see weather like this all the time. The point of the matter is... we don't! We are use to breezing through the winter months with 80 degree highs and 60 degree lows.

This is a bit much, to say the least.

I am probably one of the few that made it in to work today. The roads where I am located weren't too bad. Lets hope the same can be said about tonight. Businesses opened late and are closing early. Schools were out and roads were closed. It is truly a sight to see.

Here is the forecast for the remainder of the week: (Houston)

"Houston Metro Forecast
FINALLY ABOVE FREEZING

TODAY: Temperatures have slowly climbed above freezing in the Houston area, but heading west or north out of town we'll see those freezing temps hang on longer. The bridges and overpasses will remain troublesome in our northern & western counties.

TONIGHT: Houston should stay just above freezing with a few light showers continuing; however, the northern areas will see more freezing temperatures and more of the frozen stuff.

THURSDAY: Our northern counties (Montgomery north and westward) will remain under the ice storm warning until 11am. Temperatures will stay chilly with highs only in the mid 40s.

FRIDAY: Another cold front will sweep through and we'll have more rain chances as a result. This will not be an arctic front, but we won't warm up much through the weekend.

Stay tuned to KPRC Local 2 and Click2Houston.com for more information.

Stay warm and safe,
Jason (Local 2 Meteorologist)"

I pray that everyone is safe at this time. If you know anyone in any of these cities in Texas please check on them and ensure their safety. This is pretty much the buzz today. Everything is really going well for me. I am just continuing to stay warm and take care of Sun!

The End.

~Ooohiceyiceyisn'ttooniceynicey!~

A Day in the Hood!

Saturday... Saturday...Saturday.

This past Saturday, January 13th (my older brother's birthday by the way) I spent the day on MLK (Martin Luther King Boulevard). Ok... you assumed right... I was in the heart of the 'hood. By hood I mean I was deep in the midst of a predominately black neighborhood. I am black as well, and raised (by way of my Granmomma) in the same surroundings, so no biggie.

In case you all have never been in a "culturally" black neighborhood, it takes some getting use to if you are unfamiliar. I love my people, I really do, they just have a really "unique" way of doing things. Let me explain...

First things first...

We went to the Beauty Supply House. Don't get it twisted... this is no Sally's or Ulta. Kim and Lin (two Asian women) are working in a building that sells everything from weaves to wigs to cosmetics to hair products to watches to clothes to shoes to designer bags... EVERYTHING. I'll give you an example, I spent $16.00 and I bought the following: 2 hats, a lip liner, a lipstick, a lip gloss, and 4 eyeshadow pallets. Whew... I would have spent quadruple that if I would have headed over to Mac (which I love by the way... I love my friend's 60% employee discount even more!). I was so excited because I had not been into a Beauty Supply like this in so long. It was so good to get out of my suburban neighborhood for a while to remember where I came from.

It was a really good thing!

Next...

We head over to King's Best Market. Let's see... how can I explain it. Those of you from Dallas, would say it is very comparable to Big T Bazaar. It was also featured in a Lil Flip video... I can't remember which one. Basically it is a Flea Market... one stop shop. You can do anything from getting an outfit to finding some new rims to getting some burned Cd's to getting a "piece and chain" to getting your hair done to taking some pictures to getting a grill to getting a tattoo! I was so nostalgic walking through this massive place. It reminded me of home... Dallas.

Reflection...

I live in a very nice suburban neighborhood here in Houston. I once lived in the 'hood my 1st and 2nd times living in Houston, not to mention my visits growing up to my Grandparents in Oak Cliff and South Dallas. It just makes me feel good to see how far I have come and it makes me want to go back and make a difference in the lives of those that are still there.

Ah... the journey of life!

The End.

~It'sallgoodwhenyoutaketimetogobacktotheHood!~

We Are the Dream!

HAPPY MLK Day to All!!!

This is truly a day to celebrate. The life of Dr. Martin Luther King was certainly benificial to us all!

Just think over 40 years ago Dr. MLK was fighting for the equality of ALL people. Even after slavery was over, black people were still treated like second class citizens. MLK's dream was that all ethnicities of people could reside in this world while experiencing equal opportunities to pursue life, liberty, and happiness. What a dream. I was not even born during MLK's era, but he lives through me everyday that I walk into my office at work, the bathroom along side white women, and on the bus (siting where ever I so chose).

People of all ethnicities are living Dr. King's Dream. His legacy will live in the hearts of us forever.

In case you have been in a cave for the last 43 almost 44 years and haven't heard or read his I Have A Dream Speech, you should definitely take time to listen to and/or read it. Enlightment at it's finest!

On a Personal Note

Today is such a cold and rainy day. School was out, so there were tons of kids at work today. We are expecting rain and extreme cold. You know what that equals... sleet and it is no fun driving in sleet!

My organization participated in the We Are the Dream Silent March and Rally on Saturday. It was WONDROUS. It was good to pay homage to such a wonderful man.

More info to come in later posts.

Enjoy your day!

RIP MLK.... your legacy lives!

The End.

~MLKpavedtheway!~

WWJD? The Telemarketer Twist!

Ok... I received a forward yesterday stating (and I quote):

"Just a Reminder---- THE FIRST WEEK OF JANUARY, ALL CELL PHONE NUMBERS A RE BEING RELEASED TO TELEMARKETING COMPANIES A ND YOU WILL START TO RECEIVE SALE CALLS........YOU WILL BE CHARGED FOR THESE CALLS..... .
To prevent this, call the following number from your cell phone: 888-382-1222. It is the National DO NOT CALL LIST. It will only take a minute of your time. It blocks your number for 5 years.
HELP OTHERS BY PASSING THIS ON TO ALL YOUR FRIENDS OR GO TO: http://www.donotcall.gov/"

I paid little attention to this, because I had never had to deal with Telemarketers on my cell.

Until this morning!

While hard at work, my cell phone rings. There is clearly a 1-800 number on my caller ID. I answer it only to hear, "Congratulations! You have been entered to receive a 25,000 cash prize, or a trip to Jamaica!". I then had two options, hang up the phone (or not answer it initially) or listen to the lady. I thought...

What would Jesus Do?

So, I listened intently to her. At the end of her spill I politely declined the offer. I was so nice and cordial, she had no choice but to respect my decision. She thanked me for listening. I wished her a good day. All was great.

The moral of the story is to treat all people with dignity and respect. Telemarketers and bill collectors are simply doing their job. They are trying to make a living just as you are, and they deserve respect (unless they get out of line!).

The End.

~JustwhenyouthoughtyouknewyourememberedwhatJesuswoulddo!~

Soooo... thats what happens when you have F A I T H!

Faith changes EVERYTHING! I double dog dare you to believe. People spend so much time worrying about what is wrong with the world, they don't spend time enjoying life. I too can be added to the list at times. Life starts to get stressful and we begin to give up.

No...no...no...

That is not the way it works. (As stated in the previous post) Faith does not deter us from experiencing hardships, it gets us through those hardships. I am a single mother with limited funds. I did not come from the best personal situation.

You know what?

I still have faith that there will be a brighter day. You know what the best part is? I actually believe and is living in it.

I was so stressed out earlier this week because I would have to train to volunteer at the Women's Shelter two evenings a week, that I normally work. I was afraid that my boss wouldn't understand and would make me choose. I prayed and trusted in God about the situation, and guess what?

I spoke with my boss today and he is behind me 100%. I have my priorities in order and I will not neglect my obligations in any way. Nothing else matters when you believe. God puts ideas in our hearts for a reason. We need to follow him and allow him to push us into our destiny.

We can do all things through Christ!

Just think about it!

The End.

~OoohIaminlovewithfaith!~

Pennies in My Pocket

What a night. Yesterday was truly something to recall. I have been "stressing" (not really, but in a way), about the added responsibilities of my job and working at the Women's Shelter. The training will be really intense and take me away from my usual working hours, only for a month. I trust in God and have faith that everything will work itself out. Yesterday evening I found myself getting over it when mayhem erupted at work.

I absolutely LOVE my job. I work in the fitness industry and it has truly been a blessing to see people attain their fitness goals. I manage 25 females, and let me tell you. It is not easy. Not to go too much into detail, one of my employees went COMPLETELY OFF on another one of my employees. It was in clear view of patrons of the establishment, and truly embarrassing for me, as the manager, and for her has the "disgruntled one". It truly put me in a not so comfortable position. I am strong and can endure anything that heads my way. This was a bit much to say the least.

But, I view it as...

A Penny in my Pocket!

We have to understand that certain life experiences gets us prepared for our destiny. The event proved to me that I am a natural born leader, and I can handle obstacles that come my way. Faith doesn't stop you from having certain experiences, but it certainly gets you through them. The staff member in question is a young woman, who is just beginning to experience life. She hasn't came into the woman she was predestined to be, and is having growing pains. It happens to the best of us.

While I am understanding. I am not a fool. You must behave professionally when you are at your work place. Who doesn't know and understand that? I took the necessary action in this case. You figure it out!

I consider my handling of this situation as "pennies in my pocket", because it is my confirmation that I am headed towards greatness. The fact that I was able to calmly assess and handle the situation says TONS about my character.

1 Penny Down.
Millions to go.

The End.

~OhhhIlovehavingpenniesinmypocket!~

Baby Blues...

Ok... I turn the BIG 2 6 in 18 days and I officially have the Baby Blues!

Actually it should be more appropriately titled, the Family Blues. I always said I would spend my 20's having children and my 30's raising them. I am a couple of weeks short of 26 and I have 1 son, 1 baby daddy, and a boyfriend.

Whoa... did I get lost somewhere?

I so want to have the husband, kids, house, cars, trips, picket fence, and dog. I have four years to get the ball rolling. I am officially not getting any younger. I just found 3 more gray hairs hiding around the crown of my head. Best believe I am beautiful... I just see my youth slowly diminishing. Maybe it is just me. At any rate... I am indeed ready. I would never consider being ready to the point of settling. And believe me... I am not settling. Ok... ok... I am rambling!

Here is what I want. Promise me you won't tell King. I don't want to scare him. I can be a bit much at times...

By 26 1/2 I want to be engaged and planning my wedding. My Non-Profit will be doing great and I will be self-employed. I will walk down the isle shortly after my 27th birthday. By 28 I will be pregnant with the 1st of three children with my husband (Sun was a bonus inheritance).
I will spend the next 3 years pregnant and having babies. That will put me at a husband and 5 kids by 31. Not too bad. King has a son and so do I, so that’s 2... I will add the three after marriage.

I want to spend my thirties enjoying my husband, children, and life.

Man! I vented indeed. I guess I just took time to think about my future. I am so ready!

Enough mushiness.
The End.

~Ahthebabybluesarerulingmerightaboutnow!~

Exciting News!

Well, well, well...

Twenty four hours ago I experienced the ultimate. For me at least. Next week I start my training to work at the Houston Area Women's Center (www.hawc.org). I went to the orientation last night. I convened around this time last night. I am so excited about helping my community.

HAWC aids victims of domestic and sexual abuse. I so look forward to empowering a woman to change her situation.

Let's See... what else...

More to come soon.

The End.

~Whatadaywhataday~

Hard Timez

I called my bank today and they told me of the $10.84 I had left in my checking account. I began to panic. I have no groceries and working with a half a tank of gas in my car. Not to mention the fact that my check engine light is on. God is going to make a way. I am sure. It is just a trip to look at my financial situation.

I am so broke those pennies in my astray gives me hope.
I am so broke I actually ate left overs (4 days old).
I am so broke I haven't ate a full meal in 48 hours.
I am so broke I go visit King in anticipation of a good meal.
I am so broke I actually thought about eating that meat that has been in freezer for four months. I am so broke I haven't went any where other than work to save gas.
I am so broke the $5.00 in my savings account looks appealing.
I am so broke I thought about just taking the mold off of the bread and eating it anyway.
I am so broke I get excited at seeing the corner of cereal left in the box.
I am so broke I can't pay attention.
I am so broke I had to swim up the creek 'cause I couldn't afford the paddle, let alone the boat!


Simply, I'm just broke.

The End.

p.s.
I get paid on the 9th!

~Beingbrokegivesyouhopethatthereissomethinggreatyettocome~

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!!!

Ok... ok... I know we are four days into the New Year, but I hope it has been nothing but prosperous for each of you. NO, I didn't disappear off of the face of the earth. I have just been getting use to the New Year. I could tell that a few of you all (at least) missed me, because I received a couple of calls and emails from a few people that I rarely talk to, but always keep up with me via my blog.

Awe... I feel so special.

So, I am not down with New Year Resolutions. We always resolve to do something, but just like soda, our desire loses its fizz around March. I work in a gym, and lets just say, some of the people I have seen come in, I hadn't seen since around March ('06). I'll give them all props for attempting to get the fitness right!

I resolve to do nothing! I am continuing on my path of financial freedom, a wonderful family life, and a BANGING BOD! All of these things are in the works, and have been since last year. I am just keeping it moving.

Ok...ok... Ya'll broke me. Without even trying. There are a few things that I do want for myself here in the new year. I would like to be headed towards marriage by years end. I want to add to my family. Yup. I want to give Sun a little playmate "Joy", in '08. I also want my Women's group to prosper and begin to get closer and closer to my destiny.

Ok... I don't consider those "wants" resolutions in no shape or form. They are simply things I am going to continue pushing for in the New Year.

I will make it my duty to update this blog more often then I have.
Bare with me.
I am making moves here in '07 (Already!)

The End.

~ThisNewYearwillbeHappyevenifitkillsme!~