"Rai"diant Confessions.

Hello Faithful Hiatus Followers...

I have so much to say and so little time to stuff it into. Lets see... where to start?


Spirituality...

I am so in love with God right now! This past year has been such a blessing for me. Even though it hasn't been easy all of the time, I have learned so so very much. I have evolved into the woman I was intended to be. I spend my nights meditating and thinking Him for being Him and for all that he has blessed me and the world with. Sunday is solely dedicated to the worshipping of my heavenly Father (going to church). There is no such thing as "luck", God orders our steps. Believe that!

Relationship...

I am still madly in L O V E with King. It is complicated... ok, not really, I figured it out... I UNCONDITIONALLY love him. That is the problem with a lot of relationships. People love with conditions. To truly love someone is to accept them unconditionally, while giving them the utmost respect, and ensuring that they are reciprocating the exact same feelings back to you. There will be times when you don't understand them, but that is not solely important heck, I don't understand myself sometimes. How can I expect someone else to understand me? When you love and find unconditional love... it is truly blissful.

Friendships...

I have three really... really... close friends. They are more like fam and I love to pieces. Two are males and one is a female. These three have truly showed their love for me over the last two weeks. They have had my back, and shown me the reason why I call them true friends. It is WONDROUS indeed. All of my WHEW members are also close friends indeed.

I have recently embarked on a new friendship. Let me preface the following by saying, I am not the "Hi, I'm Rai, lets go home and bake cookies" type. I am really careful about who I call friend. I did meet a very interesting lady... I will call her Little Bombshell, she has a BIG personality in that small frame of hers. We met at church quite a bit ago. We didn't talk much until we ended up riding to Dallas together for the holidays. I learned so much from her. She is from the Chicago/Indiana area and has few friends down here in Houston. I really look forward to embarking on a friendship with her.

WHEW!...

I am so EXCITED about my Women's Network! It is going so well thus far. I look forward to all good things in the up and coming year!

Family...

It was so GREAT to spend time with "Momma Nem" (read: mother, brother, grandmother, aunts, uncles, cousins etc...). I ended up going to Dallas by myself this Christmas season. Sun stay with CK and his family. It was really weird to spend Christmas without my dear Sun. He had a blast though. He was showered with so much love, not to mention the G I F T S! This season has truly been a time for rest, relaxation, and recuperation!

Fitness...

Due to the flu, I have been out of commission for awhile, but I do still teach my strip tease aerobics class. I will go back into full throttle at the beginning of the year!


This totally recaps my being for the last couple of weeks.

The End.

~ImustconfessIamtrulyBlessed!~

Eleven Days... and I'm Back!

Hello Hiatus Members!

It is so wonderful to be back! I spent almost 2 weeks on a Hiatus, from "Da Hiatus". So much has happened in the past 11 days... Everything, from the flu... to chasing Sun... to a road trip with a new friend... to an evening with old friends... to QT with Momma G... to an evening with the Fam... to an express flight... to being stood up (again) by King!

WHEW!!!

Where to start... where to start?????????

I will spend the remainder of the year (4 days to go) reflecting on the past two weeks and I will count down my top ten blogs of the year! I will need your help... check out some of my past posts and comment on them (it will send me an email) and I will include them on my year in review!

Ok... I will find a place to start.
Check out the following post!

The End.

~Oooohhitfeelsgoodtobeback~

Men and Women and Sex Outside of Committment

Hey Ladies!

I was pondering life awhile ago, and it hit me! I figured it out.

Ok... I know what you all are thinking, "Figured what out?".

How men and women view sex outside of committed relationships .

Men:

Men want It (sex) and once they get It, they don't want it anymore (the replacement journey begins).

Basically, curiosity is the best way to really know if a man is truly interested in you. Once you give up the "goodies", regardless of what he may say, your worth lessens. He may want to "hit it" occasionally, but soon you will become replaced by the next unsuspecting woman. Make him wait ladies. Embarking on a sexual relationship too soon opens the door to confusion. I will explain more later.

Women:

Women want It (sex) and once they get It, they want more (a relationship, plus more sex!).

Regardless of what we may say, once we give ourselves to a man intimately we begin to develop feelings for him (if they were not apparent prior to sleeping with him). We long for someone to love and take care of us. It's ok ladies, it is in our genetic make up. Whether we want to admit it or not, that is how it is. We attempt to change men that may not be what we want him to be upon initially meeting him. I will be the first to admit it. As soon as the panties drop to the floor, we began to explore the relationship avenue.


Confusion's Door...
Now, I see why there are so many people involved in jacked up relationships. Men and women are obvious on two totally different pages of two different books when it comes to sex, outside of committed relationships.

Women think they can handle simply being a "booty call", but the fact of the matter is WE CAN'T. WE are not men. We value ourselves too much to spend life as a "booty call". We may say, "Girl, I don't care!" or "I just want him for one thing!". It always begins that way. Then we can't explain why we are checking his messages, and firing 21 questions his way. But we don't care. Yeah right!

Men get with women and "keep it real", by telling them that they are not ready to be exclusive, but they behave in "boyfriend" ways. I actually have to commend those men who are 100% honest with women about their intentions. Women... when a man shows you who he is... BELIEVE HIM! Stop living in your dream world. There is a man out there destined to be with you... wait for him.

At the End of the Day:

Men and Women possess equally opposite opinions and ideals about relationships. We will never totally understand each other. What is most important, is that we stop leading each other on. There are millions of people infected with STD's, children who grow up with out their fathers, and marriages destroyed by sex outside of commitment. There is a bigger picture people. Let's be the source of change, and begin to respect ourselves, and each other and enjoy sex in the confines of marriage or (for those of you that just can't wait) a committed relationship.

Be Safe.

The End.

~Sexissomuchbetterwithcommitment~

That Darn Dorothy D.!

I recently watched Carmen Jones, and just loved Dorothy Dandridge! What a beautiful and talented lady. I just had to post a pic.

The End.

~GottaloveDorothyD.~

The "Sun" Shines

I think I neglected to tell you all this ... but Sun really showed his behind, about 2 weeks ago.

*Prefaces this story by stating that CK entered into a relationship with "Cozy" (as she seems to be the warm, cuddly, and snugly type).*

It was a typical Sunday evening, and I had expressed to Confused K that I would be picking Sun up around 10pm, as I had an engagement that I was attending. CK agreed and everything was set up. Well into my evening (about 8pm to be exact) I called to tell him I would be a tad bit later than the agreed 10pm. Time would be pushed back to 11pm. CK obliged, and upon the conclusion of our conversation, I hear Sun in the background screaming, "Mommy! Mommm! Is that Mommy?!? I want to talk to my Mommmmmmmmmy!". I was immediately startled and asked CK to put my Baby on the phone. And so he did.

Sun: "Mommy?"
Me: "Yes baby?"
Sun: "Cozy's here!"
Me: "OK baby, that's good. Are you all having a good time?"
Sun: "Mommy, you want to speak to her?"

Before I had a chance to answer. Cozy is clearly audible on the other end.

*Let me further preface the remainder of this statement by saying, I have clearly moved on from CK. I appreciate the fact that he is Sun's father, but that is it. I harbor no "secret" feelings for him.*

Cozy seemed to be a very nice young lady. She complimented me on doing such a good job "raising" Sun, and seemed really kind, and peaceful. She stated that she couldn't wait to see me, and that was the conclusion of the conversation.

Later that night I met her.

I must say... she seems like the perfect fit for CK. She is the total OPPOSITE of me (we are equally beautiful- in TOTALLY different ways). I would describe her as being "warm" and "cozy". I would be defined as more "hot" and "spicy". CK definitely could not handle spiciness... warm is a better fit for him.

I wish them nothing but the best in their relationship...

as long as it doesn't interfere with Sun's 20%, that's all that matters!

The End.

~TheSunShinesonceagain!~

Cough...Cough...AACCCHEEEEEEEWWW! I'm Back!

*Sniffles as she snuggles close to her keyboard.*

Hello Ladies and Gents.

I am indeed back. Sooooo much to talk about, sooo little time. I have spent the last 48 hours with "Flu-like" symptoms. I dare not claim having the flu.

Screams in my best "Church Preacher Voice, "THE DEVIL IS A LIE!"

I have really missed you guys. It is really therapeutic for me to write. I have figured out a lot of things, as far as my future is concerned. I have really had time to reflect on life and the reason He put me here on the earth. I will chill out on the relationship posts for awhile. It is coming up on the end of the year and I will reflect on and nurture me. That is where it starts. We spend too much time worrying about relationships. I am the first to admit it. I have so much that He has placed ME here to do, I need to focus on that.

So, nothing but fun, uplifting posts from me (for awhile at least). I am spending time working on my Sister Circle and getting things off of the ground.

I will end this post with something OUTRAGEOUS, that I figured out during my 48 hour bed rest.

I found out that Houston is one of the stops along a train track (www.amtrak.com), that takes passengers to various cities throughout the U.S. I am going home (Dallas), for the holidays, so I thought it would be fun to catch the train (since Sun won't be with me). I called the 1-800 number to get more info. The news was amazing!

Now, from Houston (TX) to Dallas (TX), it is about 295 miles, which adds up to a 3 1/2 hour car ride. As I sat listening to the automated lady tell me the itinerary I was truly AMAZED! The only available train would depart at 9:50pm Wednesday night (12-20-06), and would arrive in Dallas at 3:30pm (12-21-06). Now... call me sheltered... call me ignorant... but how in the heck is it going to take 17 hours to get 295 miles by train!

Best believe that idea was 86'ed before "she" could finish her sentence.

I would love to ride Amtrak one day, however I would have to be accompanied by someone and be going out of state (for the Adventure of it).

I am tired...


The End.

~AAAACCCCCCCHEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWW!~

1214 Monica Street

I have to spend this post reflecting on a moment in time. While spending the day with my Mom and Sun (Sunday after Thanksgiving), we pasted by a new subdivision of houses that were being built close to her neighborhood. We decided to stop and look in a few of the houses.

First Stop...

1214 Monica St.

Upon getting out of the car, I was consumed by this MASSIVE Castle-like house. It was truly astonishing. Sun ran up the steps screaming... "Mommy, is this MY house?". He was so excited. After opening the HUGE oak door we looked up only to notice an extremely high ceiling, peering downward we were greeted by beautiful hard wood floors. To the right was an office. EVERY thing in this house was MASSIVE. The office had ceiling to floor built-in wooden bookcases. There was a circular window that accented the room.

After exiting the office, the was a formal dining area with a beautiful chandelier. The den area was across the HUGE walk way. The kitchen was BEAUTIFUL with stainless steel appliances and an "ole school" gas stove. The Master Suite (located downstairs) was WONDROUS, the best part about this room was the closet. You all have seen cribs, correct? The closet was split into "his" and "hers" sides. There were built-in drawers, and clothes racks up to the ceiling. The closet was the size of a small bedroom. All in all downstairs was great! Two bedrooms (Master and Guest) 2 1/2 baths, kitchen, formal dining room, den, formal living area, kitchen, two stair cases (front of house and in kitchen). A HUGE backyard with a long porch for stair gazing.

Everything upstairs was really nice. Three bedrooms, two baths, a game room, balcony, and... a theater. From the game room I noticed steps leading up to a door. I walked up and opened them. A theater room, equipped with a square of wall for the projector (for watching films). There was a small refrigerator and microwave for heating up snacks. The room could fit about 15 comfortably. After exiting the room I noticed a balcony. I walked out and took in the sunshine. It was truly relaxing.

Momma G, Sun, and myself headed back downstairs, and out the door. This 6,000 square foot of a house would have to remain in my dreams...

For Now.

I took so much from 1214 Monica Street. I left there believing in myself, and my dreams. With hard work and dedication to my craft, I too can enjoy luxury as such. This was more than just a house to me. This house was symbolic of my life. Anything worth having is worth working for. I can't wait to have my 1214 Monica Street one day. I know that God put me on that street, on that day for a reason.

I will be birthed into my destiny!

The End.


~OooohIwantmyplaceonMonicaStreet!~

I'll Stay with You (Him)

After a roller coaster weekend, I am back. The song in my head nowadays, is Stay with You (John Legend's; Get Lifted Album). I spent the weekend thinking about the relationship King and I have.

We have a WONDERFUL relationship. Yes, he is busy with his career. He does put me off sometimes. But, he is the BEST thing that has ever happened to me (relationship wise). We get it. We understand each other 110% of the time. I am just a spoiled Princess, who wants to be acknowledged 110% of the time.

I went to an event of his (on Sunday) and it was AMAZING to see him. I missed him so so so very much. I will give a brief recap of our interaction this weekend.

Friday, December 1, 2006

King shows up at my house (not planned).
We talked and planned to hang out the next day.

Saturday, December 2, 2006

I hadn't heard from him all day, so I made plans with friends.
He called after my plans were made.
I didn't change them.
We had "a talk".
A relationship evaluation "talk".


~Pause~
Thanks to all Da Hiatus readers for hearing me out while I vented, in the previous posts. I simply needed an ear (eye lol!). I love King more than anything, and I appreciate everything that he has brought to the relationship.

Don't get it twisted. King is my SOUL MATE. Our relationship is bigger than us. God had so much to do with it. We were predestined to be together. God brought him to me, but it is up to us both to continue to nurture what we have so graciously been given. So what. He puts me on hold to take control of his destiny (by nurturing his career). I am a Big Girl. I am not going any where.


Sunday, December 3, 2006

I attended an event of Kings.
It felt so good to see him.
We hung out and grabbed a bite to eat.
Had a "real" conversation via the phone.


All in all. It's kinda like (what I call), the "Balloon Affect". I was all "blown up" (happy) initially about the relationship. Then slowly air leaked out. I slowly became deflated (by lack of time spent). After seeing, and spending time with him, I began to fill up again. But going through the last "rocky" month taught me a lot.

It's ok to vent.
Love and Respect really matter.
Intent is EVERYTHING.
Don't sweat the small stuff.

How could I get truly get mad at someone who is creating a future for themselves (for me to share with)?

A girl gots to vent though.

Enough relationship stuff!

(Walks off humming:)

Ooh I will stay with you

Through the ups and downs

I will stay with you

When no one else is around

And when the dark clouds arrive

I will stay by your side

I know we'll be alright

I will stay with you

The End.


~OohImmastaywithhim!~

He Must Not Know 'Bout ME...

I had to start this post in ode to Beyonce's new joint "Irreplaceble". It talks about being in a relationship, that you don't feel 100% fulfilled by, and having a man treat you great, as if he is the only man in the world who is capable of aiding you in achieving those feelings.

Let me explain...

I guess this is "vent" week, 'cause I have been doing quite a bit of it lately. I am just TIRED...so, so, so TIRED. I am in a relationship, but NOT. I am so use to not spending time with my "mate", that I feel single. No, I haven't cheated on him, but how can you cheat on someone you aren't even with. We rarely talk, haven't spent quality time in about a month. I am attempting to do some major things in my life and he is too. What does that mean? If we are too busy for each other now, what is going to happen in a couple of months when things get even more hectic? I keep trying to ration with myself. I won't cheat on him because I respect him, and myself too much for that, but what is a girl to do? It is a no win situation. There is no point in cheating on him, because I couldn't care less about the rest of the men out here in the world. King isn't perfect... but he works... I am such in a place right now.

Two options...
Break up with someone who I feel completes me, only because he is in love with his career.

Stay with someone who totally ignores me and checks on me occasionally, to be "cordial".

We will have a conversation tonight. This is starting to bother me.
Enough of my problems.

I am a beautiful, intelligent, and caring individual and anyone would love to be involved with me. The only question would be, "Would he be the One?"

Feelings that King and I share are truly irreplacable. But...

He Must Not Know 'Bout Me!


The End.


~Itwillallmakesensetomorrow.~