I Got My Coochie Checked...

Okay, now that I have gotten your attention... I know what you all are thinking. She is definitely at it again.

You would be right. Back in May I did a post on the importance of a Well Women's exam. It is indeed important. So important I felt it would only be right if I shared my personal experience with you all. I did receive my exam this past week.

I hadn't been in about a year. Which is fine because unless something is "wrong", Dr.'s recommend getting yourself checked annually. So let's see, where do I start?

It was raining terribly bad on this morning and I had to make arrangements for Sunshine to be dropped off at my job prior to my appointment. There was ABSOLUTELY NO way that I would take him with me. He is far too curious about the "lower region" as is. Where was I? Ok... I remember. I dropped him off so a really good friend (employee) could keep an eye on him. I then proceeded to the Dr.s office.

I was running about 15 mins. late due to the weather so, I called ahead of time to let them know. Maria, the office assistant that answered the phone didn't seem especially friendly, but she was understanding due to the fact that the weather was indeed a problem on that day. When I finally arrived, the office was fairly packed. About 5 to 7 people in front of me, which is a lot considering I would have to wait, because I was so late. I signed in and waited to see the Dr. As I nestled into my seat I heard the annoying (LOUD) voice of a man talking on his cell phone. I am assuming he was waiting for someone and attempted to "waste" time by talking on the phone. Let me just tell you, it was indeed annoying. I basically knew everything that was going on in his personal life.

"Rai, you can come back now." Those words were music to my ears. As I proceeded back to the examining room area, I had to make a couple of stops. First, the scale. Whew... it was soo scary. I had gained 5 lbs. Next stop, bathroom... urine sample time. Third and final stop, examination room. The nurse asked ALL kinds of personal questions, took my blood pressure, and asked me to disrobe and wait for the doctor. It was exactly 12 noon when the nurse left the room.

I sit there completely naked underneath the paper shirt and sheet they gave me to put on. It was pretty chilly in there. I had a 1pm meeting at work, so I was in a hurry to get the process over with. 12:10pm... 12:15pm... 12:30pm... the nurse comes in... the Dr. will be with you in a moment, she has one patient in front of you. I began to panic. There would be know way I would make my meeting. Had to give the J O B a call. Talked to my boss and everything was fine.

Around 12:55pm my Dr. finally comes in. She is sssssssooooooooo funny. Me, if I was an OB/GYN. She asked about me and Sun. She commented on how MARVELOUS I looked, even though, after that whole "scale" episode I didn't feel anywhere near marvelous. She checked my breathing and did a once over. she asked me to lay back and opened my make shift gown. After examining each of my breasts, she stated... "Spread 'em". I placed each foot on a stirrup... scooted and layed down and relaxed. We were holding an interesting conversation about my occupation as she took this BRIGHT lamp and placed it in front of my "area". She took the necessary tool and slowly placed it inside of me. I felt a tug and pull as she clipped a piece of tissue from my uterus. She then took the tool out (putting the tissue in the proper container) and placed two fingers inside of me. She moved her fingers around inside of me as she pressed firmly on my stomach. She pulled her fingers out, look at me and said, "looks good to me".

We talked about birth control methods. I told her I currently wasn't using one and she suggested Nuva Ring. I obliged. I guess we will see how this works.

I proceeded to the check out area to set up my next appointment. After briefly telling me when I would be needed back, the receptionist asked me to get my blood tests done. After that, I returned back to the window to confirm my appointment. She asked if I had changed my number because, when she called the male voiced seemed kind of surprised to have someone calling there for me. I said (in a joking way), "Yes, you called my Baby's Daddy's house, and I don't appreciate him all in my business!". She started to laugh. She told me of a reminder call she had made prior to mine, and apparently the "new" girlfriend answered the phone and was not happy. She wanted to know all types of personal info (when the girl was due, her last name). She even threatened to come to the Dr.'s office. Pure drama! We laughed. I received necessary prescriptions. That was it!

LADIES-
It is serious out there. It is important to visit your GYN annually (at least) to check out the goings on in your body. The choice is yours. What do you choose?

The End.

~Ladiesitisextremelyimportantokeepupwiththegoingsondownthere~

Ooooh the Exhaustion

I almost retired for the night with out blessing my blog. I couldn't do you all like that. It is almost 9pm and I am ssssssssssoooooooooo exhausted. Worked a 10 hr day, and peep this, just taught an fitness class.

Details will come later.

I worked out so hard, I barely know my name at this point. But I do know one thing though, I cannot afford to be tired currently. I have things to do tonight. Lots of things to do. Let's see... where do I start?

I have to grab Sunshine something to eat. He didn't necessarily want what I prepared so... what the hay! I am in no mood to argue... I pick my battles.

I have to perm this head. Whew! You all just don't know how close I am to pulling an India.Arie "I am not my hair" and shaving it all off. I am oh so close. This whole perm issue is getting pretty old, and lets just say, I have hair "from the motherland". Power to the people!

Uhhmmm... what else?

I just snaged Tyler Perry's play, "Madea goes to Jail", I really...really want to see it!

I have to wash and clean up my apartment. Sun is leaving to go with Confused K tomorrow so... I have to get him prepared.

There's always a phone convo with King and sleep!

Until the next time.

The End.

p.s. Attaining this whole Proverbs 31st woman goal is extremely harder then it seems.

~Ooohhexhaustioncausesconfusion!~

Jealousy and Envy... A Woman's two Best Friends

Bare with me Ladies and Gents. I'm about to say it... Say it all. You may not like it but... the truth hurts a tad bit at times.

Why are women jealous of each other?
Why do women neglect to admit the extent of their jealousy and envy?
Why do women cover it up by bringing (making) up "crazy" personality traits about the other, that at times don't exist?
Why must a woman pass another, and instead of saying, "hi", look her up and down, judging her appearance?

There is one main answer to the above listed questions. Women are INSECURE! I don't care how pretty, fine, intelligent, they are. There is always a slight bit of insecurity in the formula. Ladies! We are ALL beautiful in our own unique way. Why must women feel they have to compete with each other? There are plenty men out there to go around. We are DESTROYING our relationships with each other, because of US.

You must first and foremost accept and love what you see when you look in the mirror. You must be soley comfortable in your own skin. We should be building each other up, not tearing one another down. We must find that hidden quality within ourselves that make us different. We should respect and love our fellow women. That's what it is all about.

How do we expect men to treat us with respect, when we don't even respect each other? It makes no sense to me.

On a personal note:
I have been dealing with women being intimidated and jealous of me since a very young age. The funny thing about it is, I have always been really friendly and thrived on friendships. All be honest. God blessed me with beauty, a nice physique, and intelligence. I have never been and will never be a threat to another woman. I embrace my gifts and I use them to better me, not tear anyone else down. I am in a managerial position at my job (supervising around 22-27 women), I have a beautiful son who gets EVERY weekend with his father and is financially taken care of, I am pioneering a women's movement, and lots of other things. I am extremely outspoken and strong willed. I do not accept mediocre and I live a stress free life. I do this by CHOICE. Other's opinions of me (while I take into consideration loved one's), do not matter. God's opinion of me is the only thing that will be reflected by the passing of my day's. I am a positive person and I choose to be this way.

Why would someone be jealous of that?

I can take criticism from "man", but only God can judge me.

LADIES!

Love your self. Do your thing. Embrace your fellow women. We are in this struggle together. Let's know, fully understand, and embrace our purpose. Until we do that, we can expect little to nothing from our male counter parts.

The End.

~Trueunderstandingofselfoverseestrueremption~

Friendship...

What an interesting topic. Friendships!

Did you know that friendships are the most important relationship there is? Often times we put sole energy into our romantic relationships, meanwhile we neglect those friends that were there before and will be there after the romantic fling has ran it's course.

Don't misunderstand me. We must first know the meaning of "true" friendship and attributes of such. Everyone we are acquainted with is not our friend. Just like (I hope) one wouldn't sleep with someone until they have knowledge of their character and intentions; we should fully know and be at peace with the person before we call them friend.

Our friends should be on the same page we are as far as spiritual and mental mind sets are concerned. I by no means am saying that your friends should be your clone, but you both should respect and understand each other equally. Friends are delicate entities.

A Few Attributes Important to Friendships...
Communication
Understanding
Nonjudgement
Honesty
Trust
Sincerity

Just to name a few.

Friendships are priceless. EVERYONE is not your friend. Statistics show that only 3% of acquaintance's that people interact with are their true friend. I agree with B's post on an interesting blog (Titled: "Just a Few Thoughts" on Memoirs of the Grown and Sexy), that people either come in your life for a Reason/Season/Lifetime. True friendships are for a lifetime, actually, true friends become family that you meet on your journey through life.

We should cherish true friendships. There is nothing wrong with having Ladies Night Out, with a few of your lady aquaintances. I will say, it would be wise to keep it that. Never allow your self to get trapped into potentially hazardous friendships (if you can control it).

On a personal note...

I have just a FEW TRUE friends. I can count them on one hand. I know that they will forever be there for me. I love and will do anything for my girls (and guy- one of my BF's is actually a guy)

That's the important thing.

The End.

~Itruefriendshipislikeyourfavoriteblanky~

Faith... ahhh...Faith

Okay... I know it has been awhile since I was in the posting mood but... I warned you all about my "Mental Pause" so, I hope you didn't miss me too much. ;o) This post is about FAITH...obviously, from the title. I was going through... let's say a rather "rough" period a while ago, but I kept my"focus" on and "faith" in God. Let's just say... He prevailed...

I will give you a few brief examples...

My lease will be up on my apartment at the end of the month. About two month's ago I found out it would go up about $100. I was frantic and didn't know what to do. I attempted to look for apartments that would be cheaper but, my heart wasn't in it. I would procrastinate and take my time about the situation. Finally, I prayed about it and stayed still. God whispered to me to go and renew my lease at the apartments I was staying at. He ensured me everything would be fine. I went in and talked to one of the leasing agents. She told me of the near $100 increase, and I told her of my concern. She told me she would talk to the property manager about it and get back to me. I left my number and that was it. About a week later I received a call verifying that I would be renewing my lease. We talked about how much it would cost and she understood my concern. The agent asked me who my employer was and I told her. Come to find out, it was a preferred employer and I would receive and additional discount. My total rent has only increased by around 60 bucks a month. That is much better than the 100 it originally was going to be!

To top it all off...

I recently have been offered to teach a Group Fitness (aerobics) class at the fitness gym I work for. Aside from my original position, that will be extra money a month that far exceeds the $60 my rent went up!

God makes a way!

Let's See...

My LOVE life. You guys know I couldn't leave out me and King. As you all have read, I have had issues dealing with lack of time spent with him. I had a hard time expressing myself (can you believe that?). But, he read my blog! Yes people! He read my blog, and doesn't appreciate ya'll ALL up in our business. LOL! He understood some of the things I was talking about while, at other times he had no idea. We communicate more and are (both) working hard (at making it work) all while enjoying each other. It is truly a good thing!

Uuuhhh...

Friendships... while that is another post for another day, I feel I am surrounding by the love anf friendship of those who matter. Before any of my girls (who secretly read my blog to dissect my life without telling me ;o)) think that I am talking about them, I don't have to see are talk to you daily for you to make an impact on my life. Trust that! I love you all, regardless of how much we talk... God spoke to me and told me that everything would be ok.


That pretty much does it for now. There will be more "faith" talk to come in the near future.

The End.

~Faithopensthewindowandletsthecoolfreshairin~

A "Mental" Pause

Hey guys... I had no one to talk to so... I chose you all. I really need to take a "mental" pause from things going on in my life right now. The best way to go about this is to empty my mind and start fresh let's say... uh... tomorrow.

So... here goes a couple of random things that are wearing on my mind.

1. A friendship with someone who was "supposed" to be a close friend of mine. I assumed, but it was never actually stated. We had been friends for years. Went through lots of things together and out of the blue she started acting "brand new". I have attempted to reach out but, nothing has happened. Normally, I would just kick the whole idea and person to the curb but, I care about her as a friend, so it is really hard for me to do. Whenever she is ready I will be around but, as of now, case is closed.

2. An incident happened that was the fault of King and myself, but I ended up flipping the entire bill for the correction of it. He told me he would give me the money but never did. He then ran into some financial problems so, he never payed me. I am attempting to be understanding, but times are hard for me too. (... I know what you all may be thinking and NO... I do not believe in abortion so... it isn't that!)

3. I am in the process of starting a non-profit organization, and is having a hard time finding women that are really dedicated. Actually God blessed me with 7, that feel as strongly about the "WHEW Movement" as I do, but I wanted a few more members to start out with. I know I need to just chill out and accept what He has so graciously given me. It's just been on my mind lately.

Let's see what else...

4. My mom. Aaahh...my mom. I love her to pieces. We just can't reside in the same dwelling. At anyrate... she is in a marriage that is going absolutely no where. The AC at her house just went out (do to some business that should have been handled years ago) and she is still at home sweating it out. My momma is an asthmatic so it is not good for her health. I think she is really sick (worse then what she is letting on) and every conversation we have ends in an argument. My mother is a very strongwilled person, it's just, she is hard headed to. She doesn't like to ask for help. I wish she would let me help her. I have been asking her to move to Houston to stay with me for awhile (I realize the statement I made earlier about us living together but, this is an extreme circumstance). She doesn't want to leave her husband. I guess I wasn't meant to understand... 'cause I don't.

I guess those would be the 4 major things plaguing my mind right now. I have just "thrown them up" so to speak, so...

I welcome my "Mental" Pause.

The End.

~Thebrainneedstotakeabreaksometimes~

Why Kids Shouldn't be left Alone...

I was sent this pic via email. Let's just say... A picture is worth a thousand words!

Officially Fed Up

Okay guys. I am about to pour out my heart. I don't need the "I told you so's". So here goes...

Me and the King. This whole lack of time thing is really starting to get to me. Ok. Let me explain...

I do understand that he is a busy man. God knows I do. But being kicked to the curb repeatedly would start to wear on anyone. The broken promises and no shows can only happen so often. When I began the relationship I knew it wouldn't be perfect. No relationship is. I indeed knew what I was entering in to (dealing with an ambitious entrepreneur attempting to take over the world). The only thing is... I didn't realize the extent of my compromise. I do know that he is a busy man. I am busy as well. I am a single mom who spends the majority of her time at work. When I am not working (my 11-9), I am doing things for my (soon to be) non-profit, all while raising my son. I still take time out to see and talk to him, or attempt to at least.

For the last almost 4 months I have been attempting to perfect the 'new' Rai. 'Cause best believe, back in the 'old' Rai days... this thing would have been over before it started. I do know that anything worth having is worth working for. When do you stop picking up the slack for your 'co-worker'? I feel like this relationship is a blessing, I really do. But as the minutes tick, I am wearing thin. I know I will look back on this (regardless of the outcome) and value the lesson learned. It's just that, as of right now I am...

Officially Fed Up!

The End.

~Ventingisverytheraputic~

I'm Tired

Let me explain this post. As I sat at my desk today, pondering life. I came to the conclusion that women (obviously including myself) are tired. Tired of day to day issues in this wonderful thing we call Life. I speak about my personal experiences at times, and I also speak soley about the experiences of those who are close to me.

Well, that's it for my disclaimer.
Enjoy!

I'm tired of niccas lookin' at my booty
I'm tired of being the local cutie
I'm tired of being only known as a Baby's Momma
I'm tired of Baby Daddy Drama
I'm tired of jealous females
I'm tired of my brothers being in jail cells
I'm tired of trying to understand
I'm tired of feeling like I 'need' a man
I'm tired of giving the benefit of the doubt
I'm tired of sacrificing my self to help people out
I'm tired of men being intimidated
I'm tired of world hatred
I'm tired of attempting to explain myself
I'm tired of being the only nice one left
I'm tired of repetition
I'm tired of feeling like life is one big competition
I'm tired of being everyone's friend
I'm tired of struggling to the end
I'm tired of biting my lip
I'm tired of barely grasping life by my finger tips
I'm tired of being the only one who cares
I'm tired of attempting to enlighten those who are unaware
I'm tired of living check to check
I'm tired of convincing women the importance of self respect
I'm tired of working for "the man"
I'm tired of having to take everyone by the hand
I'm tired of being judged
I'm tired of holding a grudge
I'm tired of fearing being fired

Basically... I'm just tired

The End.

~Tirednessopensthedoortofreedom~

God's Gift

Ooooh... when Sunshine was little like this... and even today at 3, he is still my gift!

The Choice is Ours

Hey people in Blogspot Land. This is my last post of the night, and then I am taking my tired behind back to my APT. for some R and R. I wouldn't feel right if I didn't leave you all with some positivity for the night.

Did you know our attitudes are based on 10% of what happens to us and 90% of how we react to it? The choice is ours. We, by no means can control how others behave. The only thing we have control of in this world is US. Yes, US! Often times we loose control of ourselves. We let life dictate our attitudes. I want us to collectively stop letting life dictate our futures. Our fate is in our hands.

We must gain full control of our minds people. That is the only thing no one can take from us. Do all you can to condition your mind to think and do positive things. Yes, life will throw us all kinds of things. We have to use it to make a delicious gumbo of the mind (take the good out of everything and work with it).

If people would quit trying to change one another, and commit to changing themselves, oh what a world this would be!

The End.

~Unityissimplychangeinmotion.~

Adult Virginity

I thought this would be an AWESOME topic to discuss. Although it is obvious that I am not a virgin at the tender age of 25, adult virgins are not extinct. I actually think it is AWESOME that people are waiting.

Let me explain.

If you have never tasted candy, you don't know how sweet it is, thus not tempting you to indulge. Sex is a wonderful event, that is meant to be shared by men and women in the sanctity of marriage. But, you know how it is nowadays. Once you get a 'sample', it is pretty much over and done with. Sex is a very pleasurable act, but people are being extremely irresponsible. Diseases are being contracted and babies are being born and abandon (most of the time it is emotional abandonment). Oftentimes women use sex to 'keep' a man. It's just a mess!

Thus leading me to the conclusion that,
The concept of adult virginity is pretty cool. Sex bring a lot of baggage, and if you haven't found 'the one', there is no use putting yourself through the stress and strain. I made the decision (a while back) to become celibate. It lasted for roughly 6 months. I was doing fine, because I wasn't dating anyone. I had forgot how sex felt (with another person at least ;o)). It was the most wonderful thing, being celibate. No worries about diseases and potential pregnancy. Why did I break my vow? That's another post for another day.

I am brought back to the point that deciding to wait till marriage (or the 'right' one) is the best thing that anyone can do, in my opinion. For all my Adult virgins out there...

STICK TO IT. HECK, TAKE IT ALL THE WAY TO MARRIAGE. YOU HAVE CAME TOO FAR!

The End.

~Theidealofadultvirginityisprettyawesome!~

Aaah! The Sensitivity.

Okay people. Please deal with one more sex post. I won't promise it will be the last period, but I will try to lay off all the sex talk. Admit it. I was doing well for a couple of posts. But...

I just had to share.

If you have been an avid reader of my blog, you will know about my love affair with my bullet (personal vibrator). It is an external stimulator that gives the best clitoral climax EVER! Ok... I digress. After having a relapse (I will dedicate a post to it soon), I have realized that I am overly sensitive, "down there".

Let me explain.
I typically over use my bullet. Thus, pleasuring myself up to eight times daily. I know. I know, but once you achieve that feeling, it is hard to go back to anything else. So about a week ago I was feeling a little 'weak' so to speak. I think it was all the sex talk and it had been a minute since I 'indulged' myself. Ok... let me get you up to date. About 2 months ago I broke my 4th bullet. It was basically due to the fact that I over use it. So... I went to the necessary place to get the necessary item. Once it was purchased, I headed directly to my apt. to handle some business.

The weekend passed so quickly. It was just me and my buddy... Bullet V. It then came to me. I don't know why it took so long but, I came to the realization that...

My clit is overly sensitive. Let me explain.
If I sit a certain way.
If there is a cool breeze (on pretty days I enjoy skirts without underwear...Peaches needs to breathe sometimes ;o)).
Oral stimulation puts me WAY over the top (it is unreal).
If I wear certain fabrics of underwear.
When I masturbate it is 10x what it is supposed to be.

Thus leading me to the conclusion that, I am WAY too sensitive 'down there'. Maybe I should contact my doctor. Could something be wrong? Nerve damage? I don't know but it is definitely unreal.

The End.

~Whatdoyoudoaboutasensitiveclit?~

What a Beautiful Mind...

There is so much truth to the "beauty is only skin deep notion". On a previous blog I wrote briefly about image and if indeed it was as important as people make it out to be. Outer looks and "swagger" as a close friend of mine, (Princessa) would say, are important assets. Are they really?

Nope, not at all!

The Mind is a Terrible thing to Waste!

Inner beauty dwells deep inside the minds of humans. The way you react to certain situations and your personality traits are of upmost importance. Being a caring, polite, respectful, understanding, compassionate, strong willed, and determined, (just to name a few attributes) person, is so much more important than your physical appearance. It is vital to be a good person with good intentions. It takes you so much further in life, and relationships.

It intrigues me how women judge each other. Don't get me wrong. I can talk about it because, I have been a participant (in some sections of my past) on both ends. One will see an 'average' looking woman walking with a attractive and/or successful man and try to figure out why he would be with someone 'like' her. Normally it gets boiled down to sex. "Oooh she must be giving it up, 'cause I don't know what he sees in her." This is too sad. It works the opposite way as well. If a beautiful women is walking with an "average" man, he must be a trick... giving up major cash. Why is this?

It is possible to be attracted to someone's mind. It is refreshing for me. It allows me to go places I have never been and have experiences (mentally) that I don't need a passport and a plane ticket to enjoy.

Mental stimulation is so much more enjoyable than the physical. Don't get me wrong, physical stimulation is definitely "good stuff", but it lasts temporarily. Someone, or simply a thought could plague someone's mind indefinitely. I evolved into Mental Radiance because I mastered the art of mental stimulation and feel my mind radiates such positive energy.
...and that is what truly matters.

Okay guys... don't get me wrong. Stay in the gym. Keep the hygiene up. But also exercise your mind. It is truly the combo (Mind, Body, and Soul) that matters.

The End.

~OooohRai,yourmindsopretty!~

Image... does it matter?

Image is important nowadays. Everyone wants to be everyone but themselves. Why? Why are we hiding from ourselves. Forcing "us" to be "them". It boggles my mind daily. I see beautiful, young women attempting to be what they see on t.v.

Heck I use to be one of them.

The year was 1997 and the hit single "No, no,no,no,no" was blasting on every radio station. Destiny's Child was starting their road to greatness. There I was, an impressionable 16 year old who Beyonce' slightly resembled (I'm older ;o) pecking order pets!). Whadaya know, my mom by the way could lay some braids down. Before I knew it, I had long blonde braids, a cowboy hat, fitted low rise jeans, and heels. I was extremely attractive. EVERYWHERE I went, I was constantly compared to Beyonce'. I started to live vicariously through her. By the time 1999 (spring) hit, I was a freshman at University of Houston, and lets just say... no one could tell me ANYTHING, I was indeed the 'lick'! I spent a couple more years living through this mega star. By 2001 I came into myself, and the braids had to go!

I spent years wrestling with my image until, I had no choice. I had a bad experience with a hairdresser and my hair fell completely out. I had no choice but to cut it ALL off. It wasn't baldfade short but, it was a lot shorter than what I was use to. It forced me to come into my own style and we of life. Finally, I was me. I was cute on the outside but my inner beauty was 10x's as beautiful. It then clicked...

I let Beyonce' live here life alone. The world is perfect with one her, but it is even more complete with the Radiance of ME!

We Have a Problem Ladies.
Okay... I am going to keep it real. Like it or not. We cannot be what we see on t.v. The females in the videos are not us. We should not feel like we have to wear a short skirt (showing half of our ass-ets) to be noticed by a man. Is anything left up to the imagination? Let's think about this logically. If we are putting all of our goodies on the table, what does a man have to look forward to? He saw and (in somecases) did it all on the first date. As women some of us try to bait a man in by acheiving a certain image upon meeting him. We then attempt to have him get to know us so we can some how make it work. Let's be real. Men are visual. When we as women put something out there... they are going to jump at the chance to get it. That's the way it was meant to happen. How can we change? I am glad you asked!

Being True to You
Ladies! Love yourself. You can be sexy and confident. Go ahead, show a respectable amount of your favorite features! Just maintain your ladylike qualities. There is a difference between LadyCity and Hoesville. Make sure you know the difference and conduct yourself accordantly.

Think about it. Do you want to be known as the classy lady in the Joe video, or the girl shaking it fast in the Nelly Tipdrill video? Two vastly different images. Which suits you?

The End.

~Imageandheartareeverything!~

...And there was Eve.

I am by no means discounting men but... this here post, it's about US! Women... we are beautiful, intelligent, and capable of doing any and everything we put our hearts to. We are the Eve (mother) of ALL things. The sad part is... we don't even realize it.

Men. We blame them for everything. "That nicca beat me." - Let's examine why? It is simple. You let him. Men do any and EVERYTHING we let them do. Our overall treatment by them is based on our opinions of ourselves. We wouldn't put up with that behavior from people on the street whom we don't know. Why are we dealing with it from someone we let between our thighs? Ok... maybe physical abuse doesn't ring a bell for you.

"His cell phone rings at 2am, but it's just his momma, she needs to quit bothering us that late at night. He always has to go in the other room to talk to her 'cause she claims she doesn't want me all in their business."- Let's be real. No mom is going to call their adult child (who is at their own house) that late at night, unless something is indeed wrong. He is lying Sisterfriend! He is entertaining a relationship or 'fling' with another woman. Why do women lie to themselves about these situations? Are we afraid no one will accept us? Are we simply entertaining the fact that half a man is better than no man at all? There is light at the end of the tunnel.

As it pertains to men... we can have all the desires of our hearts. We simply have to be patient as to when He (God) has prepared us to be able to bring our share to the table. He created man from dust, and called him Adam. He knew that Adam needed a counter part so, he put him in a deep sleep. While he was asleep, he opened his chest and took a rib out. He took the rib and created woman. Only when woman was a complete and finish work did he wake Adam. Let's face it Ladies! Adam is sleep! Men are sleep! Only when we become the full and complete woman we were created to be, will men wake up and do what they were created to do.

Don't get me wrong fellas. I do understand there are some of you all that do get it, I am not talking about you. There are others that do have a lot of growing up to do. It is up to us as woman to only accept the man that we "need"- yes I said need. We want a lot of things but companionship is serious. To be honest, we normally don't even want the man that we need. We want the man that brings issues. Then, we get tired and frustrated when in fact, that was not the guy for us in the first place.

LADIES-
You are a wonderful creation of God. You must know yourself completely and be capable of bringing your gift of influence, sensitivity, and warmness (to name a few attributes) to the table. You must be confident about yourself and not seek validity. Be comfortable in your skin. Do your thing/ expand on your gift He has blessed you with. Don't worry about 'snagging' a man. When God is ready he will send one of His kings specifically for you. You have to be ready first and foremost.

When are we going to stop dodging the red flags and move on to the man designed especially for us?

The End.

p.s. I will have another installment of my relationship trilogy as it pertains to women's relationships with each other.

~LadiesyouareEveyourarewonderful,exceptnothingless~

Rai's Spirituality

Spiritually, what is it? Why is it important? There is no one particular way to explain this vast idea. It is soley individual. Everyone's spirit is different. I can only discuss how it pertains to me, Radiance (Mentally).

Spirituality for me is ongoing. I am learning new things about my spirit daily. I am evolving daily. The word, spirit, is derived from the Latin word spirare, to breathe. My spirit animates me, it makes me alive. So spirituality to me is my practice of constant awareness of what makes me alive, as it pertains to my relationship with myself, others, and God. It is my goal in this lifetime to make my existence indeed meaningful!

Rai's Purpose-
Although my purpose was predestined for me before my birth, and has been deeply rooted in me since, I haven't always acknowledged it. My purpose is to empower people, women (especially) who are at crossroads in their lives, based on my personal experiences with similar situations. I live life and make the same mistakes as many women do. The only difference with my me is that I take the lesson from the experience, and share my steps for overcoming with women walking down a similar path. I view EVERYTHING in a positive light. I never look at the problem (ok...maybe for a minute or two), but the solution and the lesson of it all. I was placed here on earth to live life. Do worldly things. All the while serving as a testimony and at times, road block for others.

Rai's Spiritual Practices-
I spend at the least an hour each evening in stillness. I reflect on the day as a whole and I set goals for the next. I am at one with God at this time. I am extremely quiet so I can feel and hear Him when he speaks to my spirit. I take that feeling and I apply it to the needed area of my life. Sundays are totally devoted to worship. I attend a nondemoninational church, with a spiritfilled choir. My Sunday worship is fun and spiritual. I am able to clap, stomp, and jump around in celebration of all He has done for me. Monday-Saturday, I spend time working on our individual relationship. It's almost like dating someone. You talk on the phone through out the week and go out a day or so on the weekend. I refill my spirit daily. It's important to me.


Okay guys... the mush had to come to an end at some point. This was just an interesting post to share a little bit about me.

~Iamspiritfilledandthat'swhatmatters~

Da Kang and ME

I am so done with the mushy post's after this.

I have a King
A real live King here on earth
It is not that he is perfect
But, rather we are perfect
Together
Like puzzle pieces
He has what I lack
I possess his lacking as well
I would have never thought I could feel this way
About another human being
A real feeling of connection
Not meaningless lust
Rai's King...
King's Queen
Together we will be
We will simply wait and see

~Ooohitfeelsgoodtoberoyalty!~

Diverse Beauty

Gotta love the women of the Dove campaign. There is beauty for you!

~Beautydoesn'tdiscriminate!~

The Shower

... I woke up around 8:30 this AM. I was still a tad groggy because 'we' stayed up pretty late last night. We talked about a lot of things. We discussed him, me, and we. A truly AMAZING conversation. My mind wasn't completely through digesting it so... I had weird choppy dreams. That always happens when you go to sleep with things on your mind. I woke up wanting him. Wanting him to be there with me. I almost forgot about work... I headed to the shower.

I pulled the shower curtain back and turned the water on. I waited awhile because I like the bathroom all steamy when I take my showers. I carefully removed my robe, which left me completely naked. I surveyed my body in the mirror for a moment. My face was beautifully natural...real natural. My eyes were a bit swollen and a few bags from the previous day were at bay under my eyes. My breast where just that... breast. I little perk, were left in them, after that whole breastfeeding episode. My stomach was in pretty good condition. Only a few faint stretch marks visible. My center region was well trimmed. Nice and moist (usual for me). My thighs were shapely, calves, and feet were in near perfect condition. Pleased at what I saw, I proceeded to the shower.

The water was steaming hot. I turned around to wet my hair. Thoughts of 'him' danced in my mind. As the water hit my face and head, it was truly refreshing. I turned around to face the shower head. The water gently collided with my nipples. What a sensation! Droplets of H2O danced all over my body. I felt extremely relaxed. I stood still for awhile. Directly under the shower head. My thoughts scattered through my head simultaneously. I soon grabbed my Oil of Olay Body Wash and sponge. I put the potion into the sponge. Lathered it up. I traced my body with the sweet smelling concoction. My neck, chest, breast, stomach, sweet valley, legs, and feet. I repeated this combo for awhile until...

MMMMMOOMMMMMMMMMYYYY.... Come here! I am up and ready for breakfast!

Sunshine had woke up. There goes my sensual shower. I turn the water off. Grab a towel. Throw on a clean robe and proceed into the bedroom to answer his call.

Well... it was good while it lasted.

~Showerarebetterwithoutinteruptions~

Birthing a Fantasy

Should all fantasies become a reality?

Is a fantasy best left to the imagination?

What would happened if you actually went through with your mate's fantasy, or convinced him/her to go along with yours?

My opinion is...

We are so afraid of ourselves. We are scared to experience certain things due to how we feel we will be perceived by the masses. Who cares? You are in the privacy of your relationship. If two people agree on what is taking place... why not go for it. Some one will always do what you won't. I am not saying that in a manipulative way, but know that your mate's pleasures are real. If he/she would like to include you in it (assuming you all are both mentally capable of dealing with possible outcomes), I say go for it. Enjoy life. As long as you are not hurting or endangering anyone... explore your sexuality with your partner. You both are adults, and sexual human beings. Go For It!

The Most Popular Fantasy!
Disclaimer: I am aware of the fact that ALL do not consider this to be the dream fantasy but, amongst those who I know, it is at the top of the list.

Two Girls and a Guy: Menage A Trios
The two women start out together in the scene. Two exotic beauties, with curves in all the right places. Their physical features are amazing. Carefully constructed eyes, nose, and full pouty lips (think... Angelina Jolie). They are playfully touching each other. That advances to passionate kissing. Leading to nibbling. Finally, oral stimulation is in full play. They are nuzzling, sucking, and licking one another in that lower region. The man is watching. Taking everything in play by play. He then decides he would like to join the fun. He jumps in and you can just imagine how it plays out. He straddles one of the beauties, carefully placing himself in her. She is stimulating the 'non participant' and they take turns...

Not trashy... but a sensual, sexually beautiful night.

See... people are afraid to admit the beauty of the scene. There are a few, that truly despise something like that. Nontheless... it is a fantasy.

Would you consider birthing it?

The End.

~FantasiesattimesRAreality~

When Sex Isn't Enough...

Being celibate was exciting. Knowing that no one had access to the goodies was amazing! You think you depend on guys for sexual pleasure, only to realize, you are capable of handling things yourself. So you think?You're with 'the guy' for you, the sex is great (only because you feel he is your soul mate and everything else is in order). Then after doing it repeatledly, you still feel the same as you did previously.

Can sexual desires ever completely be met?

Umf! As human beings, we need to clarify what it is that we really want. We want the whole package. The kitchen, living room, and bedroom, to be in the correct order. That is what we want. When we make it to the bedroom, we want....

KAAAAAAAAAZZZZZZZZZAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!

It to be all that we imagined. We then want to return to the other areas in the house and have them in order as well, because...

SEX ISN'T ENOUGH!

~SexwillnevercompleteNEbody~

Meeting Momma...

When is the right time in a relationship to introduce your partner to your Momma (parents)? This is a slightly complicated question, as it depends on who is answering it.

My opinion is...

Whenever your heart, mind, and spirit tells you this is the one for you, it is the perfect opportunity for introductions. If all three are not on the same wave length, you should continue you relationship with out introductions.

Personally, I promised Momma G, I would not introduce her to my man of choice until I knew that I knew he was the one for me. Whenever you begin anything new, you should be weary of introducing someone to your family immediately. You don't want to come by with a different person at every family function.

Most importantly, you should value your family and the person you are dating. One should really have deep feelings for this person and want the people they care about (family) to meet the person they want to have a future with. Don't get me wrong, we have all brought the, flavor of the month, around our family before but, what good did it do?

Meeting Momma is important. If it isn't, you have to ask yourself, how important am I?

The End.

~Momma'simportantsoamI,whenwillwemeet?~

An Unforgetable Night...

What do you get a man that wants nothing? For his birthday that is. You are truly in love with a rugged guy, who doesn't care for material things at all. It is his birthday... the first birthday with you in his life. What do you do? How do you make it special for him? I am glad you asked...

Provide him with an...

UNFORGETTABLE NIGHT!

Let me play it out for you.

It is around 9:30pm. He has just finished a long day working. He walks up to his front door, but before he can place his key in the lock he notices something. An envelope. He opens it carefully and it reads...

Hey Babe!
Here are a few rules for you.
1. Carefully follow the directions listed below.

2. Follow these directions exactly.

3. Make no detours.

4. Have fun!
Unlock the door.

Lock the door behind you.

Go directly to your 'office'.

Put your things down and the next clue will await you.

He is pretty curious by this point so, he unlocks the door and notices a dark, quiet, and peaceful house. He follows the directions exactly, and heads to his office. Once he gets there, envelope 2 awaits him.

See. You CAN do this!
Go upstairs, directly to your room.

Make NO detours.

Your next clue will be waiting for you!

He is grinning from ear to ear by now. He walks up the stairs and halfway up he notices rose petals and candles leading to his room. Once he walks in his room he clearly views a nice lounge out fit picked out especially for him, along with two bags placed neatly next to it. The third envelope is in clear view. He picks it up and it reads...

Babe... that's why I love you. You follow directions so well.

First things first. Pick out your favorite outfit (in the two bags) and place them in the room down the hall. Then...
Take off your clothes and enjoy a warm shower.

Take your time. Your 4th and final clue will wait you on you bathroom mirror, but do not open it until you finish showering. Enjoy. This is your relaxation station!

He is speechless at this point. He opens the two bags, and is astonished by the sexy lingerie. He grins at the mere thought of seeing you in the sexy outfit. He picks out his favorite. Puts it in the room, and heads back to enjoy his shower. After the shower, he prys the fourth and final clue off of the bathroom mirror. It reads...

You mean the world to me baby. I love you to pieces and I hope tonight, tomorrow, and everyday is filled with happiness between you and I. After reading this proceed directly downstairs, your present will await you!

He is ready now. He skips to the stairs... walks down... and...

There you are standing in the outfit he picked out. It is a baby pink lace chemise from Victoria's Secret. Your lacy white bra and thongs are in clear view through the outfit. You have on three inch clear heels. You have a glass of champagne in hand, but you put it down momentarily to embrace your man. You whisper sweetly in his ear... "Happy Birthday Honey. Tonight is your night." You take his hand and lead him to the living area. The lights are dim. His favorite meal is on the table. He doesn't care too much for sweets so you prepared grapes and strawberries for him. You all feed each other while Jamie Foxx sings in the background...

That was just the beginning.

What a night.

~Thereisnothingwrongwithbeingyourman'sfantasy~

Religion and Relationships?

Religion, it is such a touch topic nowadays. People often get so offended, when someone doesn't understand or agree with their view on religion (as it pertains to them individually). It is so easy not to care and never mind it but, what happens when...

The person you feel completes you, your soulmate, has different religious beliefs than you?

Is religion something that can be compromised?

Would you be willing to convert to your mates religion?

Worship practices? Is it ok for them to be separate?

Child rearing? How would the children be brought up?


What I am attempting to accomplish with this post is... the actual importance of religion in relationships. It is extremely important to some... while others are willing to compromise or conform.

As for me...
My relationship with God is an individual one. While I do attend church regularly and adore my Pastor, God is first and foremost in my heart. He guides my day to day activities and thoughts. As long as my mate knows, respects, and understands that, all is well. King and I worship differently, but God is always and forever equally in our hearts.

That's what's important.

The End.

~Religionisarelationship~

The Essence of Essence '06

Hey People!

I know I know! It has definitely been awhile since I posted anything. I hope you would forgive me but... I was enjoying the ABSOLUTE best weekend EVER.

Let me explain.

July 1st-3rd was Essence Festival here in Houston (HTown) Texas. I am sure it was not as fun as Essence in New Orleans (I have never been) but... it was indeed a blast. When I say blast I don't mean a lot of partying and drinking it up. It was good to see and meet intelligent black people that were doing powerful things with there life. I met one of my favorite singer/song writer Goapele. I got a chance to see and hear the soulful voice of none other than... Mary J. Blige. I saw LL Cool J take it all off. Yolanda Adams... what can I say? She was an AWESOME show starter. This was just the beginning... Saturday, July 1st, 2006.

What A WONDERFUL BEGINNING!
I figured Essence/ 4th of July Weekend would be the same as any other, with the exception that Sunshine would be with his people for 4 days instead of the usual 2. Saturday, in the AM I woke up groggy from the night before (I will explain in a later post), and my phone rings. "RAI! WAKE UP!", blasts my buddy "Money Mo" (the workaholic). I was dazed and confused so, I gave off a bit of an attitude. After she calmed me down, she explained she had received an extra ticket for the concert later that day (the kickoff concert for Essence Music Festival '06). Let's just say... I was too too excited.

The fun began! Princessa, Mo, and me headed to Reliant Park to enjoy the festivities. It was FUN indeed. We spent the night bonding as sisters while singing our hearts out with our favorite artists. We ended the night at 2am.

Sunday, July 2nd-
I started the day in church. It was All Nations Day. We basically celebrated people from different places on the globe. We rejoiced and praised God together. It was truly amazing.
I then headed by my job to send out some reports that were due on Monday, 'cause best believe, I wasn't going to be there. I returned home to meet Lady Di- my stylist/ good friend. She layed my makeup so ever perfectly on my face. I put on a beautiful dress and I was headed to King's taping for his web based t.v station. He taped at a poetry spot here in HTown- it was ever so hot, 'cause of Essence. I was ready to go. We had sssssooooooooo much fun! After the show was over I hooked up with "J", a friend from High School, that I hadn't seen in ages. We laughed, tripped out, and had a really good time. Off to Kings...

Monday, July 3rd and Tuesday, July 4th-
Two really relaxing days... not too much to say! I spent time with King. I will discuss the remainder of the of the (long) weekend, in later posts.

Stay Tuned.

~Thisweekendwassimpleandsweetallatthesametime~